So you’ve opted for a life of exciting adventures over the bungalow in the suburbs with a white picket fence? You’ve chosen to forgo mediocrity and have decided to allow life to flow through you as it appears, without resistance?
What are some of the repercussions of such a way of life? What are the elements that seem to resurface regularly while riding the wave of the crazy? And how does one choose and follow through with living in such a way?
1- Decide what it is you are hoping to live out and why? What are the reasons, desires, values that will guide your actions?
– Are you wanting to finally pierce through the veil of fear and anxiety that has been holding you back?
– Do you know you have something really extraordinary inside you that needs to express itself but you haven’t quite reached that mode of inner genius?
– Are you ready to work through those nasty useless emotions such as guilt or jealousy and are willing to work at these regardless of how challenging the path might be within all of its rewards?
– Are you bored out of your mind and highly value new learning experiences?
– Do you seek exhilaration, creativity, social settings?
Whatever the scenario, living fully is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage to feel fear and move through it anyway. It takes patience with ourselves as we learn the ropes and with others as we move towards living in a way that might not jive with those who have always known us as “that girl” or “that guy”. It takes a lot of strength to be able to feel through and accept the after effects of living something huge and exciting!
Keeping personal guidelines / core desires / life values… whatever you want to call them… as a source code for our actions, can help us move forward without falling too far off the edge – they help guide that crazy train.
For example, if all of a sudden, you get the urge to drown puppies, well you can ask yourself, does drowning puppies fulfill any or all of the above guidelines or are you just being a nut job? Being a nut job won’t help you feel accomplished or fulfilled in your actions and will only alienate you further. The fine line between living fully and nut job-ism is entirely yours to define.
2- Trying to name or categorize creates limitations and unnecessary doubt. When we choose to ride the wave of whatever might come around, we stand out from the norm. We no longer necessarily fit into what is socially accepted or understood. Like a square peg in a round hole, we can either represent a refreshing alternative or become a challenging pain in the ass for the safe-seekers around us.
Trying to categorize who or what we are, what we do, where we are going can become tedious. Particularly if any of the above topics is more of an amalgamation of various elements as opposed to one simply-identifiable “thing”.
I am an Independent Interior Design Consultant / Writer / Singer / Event Coordinator / Entrepreneur. I enjoy yoga and whiskey… meditation and staying out dancing until sunrise. These dichotomies can make it a challenge to sum up into a single expression without some kind of explanation…
Remaining open to what is not entirely categorizable signifies being entirely accepting of what exists out there and awakening to those elements that might otherwise have not been apparent, yet are ripe for the experiencing.
3- People will resist you and perhaps intentionally get in your way.
As Chuck Palahniuk once said (this is one of my favorite quotes),
“Nothing drives people crazier than seeing someone have a good fucking life.”
You can pretty much be certain you will encounter resistance on this level. What is important in this case, is not to listen to the banter. Everyone has their own version of what is acceptable, what is “normal”. No matter what we do, it is impossible to please everyone, so living according to our own, personal guidelines is the only way. The less we allow the naysayers to infect our outlook, the more we can live freely, without restraint and with really positive learning outcomes. We grow tremendously as human beings.
And this kind of energy is absolutely infectious. The stronger we stand in our convictions, the more those around us will feel it, and will want to experience what we have to offer. You can become a very positive influence on your immediate surroundings.
4- You can’t really live the highs without accepting the experience of the lows… To fully appreciate the better moments, firstly, it is key to learn to detach ourselves from any expectation, release our incessant need to control everything and fully appreciate what we are experiencing right then and there. Everything is fleeting and nothing is certain. This is part of the appeal.
You have recently experienced something amazing, one of those long-awaited moments you had been anticipating for weeks, months or even years? Maybe it was your wedding day, a long-awaited trip? Now you find yourself in a a funk… Well what now? Do you curl into a fetal position and hold on to that moment so tight that your knuckles turn white with desperation?
Sometimes living those high points involves acknowledging that it can and perhaps even will, end on a downer. Does this stop you from pursuing it? Or do you live it fully, relentlessly, and accept the challenges that face you in the eventual?
This is entirely your call. You know what I would do.
5- Resistance leads to feeling unfulfilled. Using your personal guidelines as markers for your actions, you can generally choose only one of the following options for any given scenario:
– When we choose to live it out, we learn, grow, create amazing memories and feel entirely confident that we have done everything in our power. Whatever the outcome, it is always worth it in the end. Once we break through our resistance, it gets easier and easier to allow life elements to truly flow through.
– When we resist because of an eventual “potential” pain or fear of the unknown, we feel unfulfilled, we regret, feel disappointed in our personal strength. This leads to further resistance and closes us into the “safety” trap.
6- Don’t be a total douche bag in the process… Living according to our own personal guidelines can occasionally mean that we will clash with someone or others will feel disrupted or hurt by some of our actions.
– Being straightforward and honest about what it is you want to achieve or undertake with someone who might feel less than pleased by your actions is the only way to genuinely approach this type of situation… people get their panties tied in a knot over absolutely anything, and it is not your job to please them all. It IS however a good idea to avoid treating others disrespectfully for personal gain.
– Secretly pursuing an interest as a means to avoid confrontation or resistance from someone is being a douche. It is a chicken-shit approach and implies a total lack of appreciation for the person you are hiding from. Whether this means secretly highjacking a job position or cheating on someone, radical honestly always prevails as the best way to get to where you want to go without burning your bridges…
You can’t help people feeling hurt, some situations will engender this sort of reaction. But if you are honest and upfront about it from the onset, the person who is feeling hurt will always respect this aspect of you and can never doubt your future actions, even if they are not what they were hoping for or expecting.
7- Take time off… because no matter what you believe, you can’t possibly be “on” all the time.
If you’re a go getter, a hell raiser, a thought provoker, it’s occasionally a good idea to take pauses from your daily commotion. Whether this means isolating yourself for a period of time, cleansing yourself from the elements that have you by the balls (such as alcohol, chocolate, Facebook… whatever), removing ourselves from these for longer stretches really allows a proper evaluation of what we have achieved, undertaken, enlisted in.
It permits us to take in what has occurred and to choose the elements that suit us versus the elements that no longer serve or that are dragging us down the spiral of circular thinking. We can make changes and proceed on a more solid base, and with a stronger understanding of exactly what it is we are pursuing and why.
After all is said and done, the choice to live wholly, fully feeling the ups and downs without resistance, and giving it our all can be such an amazing way to live. It means breaking down the barriers of who we thought we were, and over time, discovering who lies beneath it all.
You will likely be surprised at just how strong you can really be… influencing others to follow suit, propagating this element of amazing further and further out into the world.